Happy BFF! It’s Best Friends Friday over here! This week we’d like to enlighten you with our rules of life. We swore on the cover of Mean Girls that these are the laws we will would live by, forever and always. (Just kidding…we are not that creepy, nor do we actually follow rules or initiate girls who want to be our friends.)
1. Wine goes well with dinner. It also goes well with late night TV watching, hair braiding, and facebook stalking. Drink it if you agree. Do not be ashamed by the accidental “likes” and overzealous comments you leave on blogs and status updates. “I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THAT PROTEIN POWDER!!!!! It’s SOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOD!” If you’ve found comments like this from us (mostly Jamie) anywhere in your life, be aware that we normally do not shout out our love for protein in real life. Pinot sets typing skills on fire.
2. Try hard not to spend money. Talk constantly about how your mint.com account hates you, complain about paying rent every month, and insist that you are not allowed to spend on wants- NEEDS ONLY. Then rationalize. “What is the difference between a want and a need anyway? Clothes are wants, but if if I don’t have a new dress for [insert meaningless fun event here] then I will look horrible therefore I will have a terrible time and it will be bad for my metal health.” Move clothes from want to need. Buy just one outfit. Cheap. Kiss the gods of Forever 21.
3. On Wednesdays, we wear pink. When we realize we own nothing pink- we improvise.
4. Complain to your best friend. Best friends are there for that sole purpose, to listen to you ramble on about something absolutely ridiculous while you simultaneously ramble on about how ridiculous your rambles are. A true best friend will let you go on and on, and save your boyfriend/mom/roommate/coworkers from finding out just how nuts you actually are.
5. Change your hair, and change it often. If you have had the same part, color, cut, or style for over one month be sure to make a switch up soon. You should be completely unrecognizable to your family when you make it back to Jersey for a visit. After you change your hair- complain (to your best friend- see rule #4) about how you should have never changed your style in the first place, now it’s too short, too dark, too not-the-way-it-was-before.
6. Only fall in love with men named Danny. We’d map it out for you, but we’ve done that before.
7. Keep in contact with your best friend daily. There are about 239084 thousand means of communication these days, use them all. Text her while she tweets you. Leave her 230 comments on her facebook telling her how pretty and perfect she is. It’s kind of like getting a compliment from your mom, but it’s nice and you’ve gotta have each others backs.
8. Be silly and have fun. Don’t take anything too seriously, don’t take yourself too seriously. Work hard, play hard. It’s all in good fun. Don’t sweat the small stuff- only sweat in the gym. Or on the beach. Or when Justin Timberlake is three feet away from you. (Okay. Last time on the JT reference. Solemnly swear.)
9. We’re done, but aren’t rules always better in tens?
10. Follow our rules with caution. We aren’t experts on the matter, these just work for us.