falling off the wagon

11 May

I’ve worked damn hard. I’ve been on and off in the game of “loving” my body…and lately I’m feeling a bit..off. I’ve been in dark places and have had bad relationships with food and exercise (you can read about that here) and to be completely honest- I KNOW I will never go back.

I know that my body needs energy, and I need food to fuel my mind and muscles. I’ll never go back to the days of eating only hot chocolate mix and drinking 50 diet cokes (really), but there ARE times- like 4 or 5 this past week- that I look in the mirror and I just see this giant, out of shape, puffy looking girl.

I’m too smart for this. I know that I’m fit, healthy, confident, and happy. It’s the fact that I strive for unattainable perfection that constantly leaves me unsatisfied. I need a homegirl to come around, pick me up, and shake the body- hatin’ out of me.

post work meditation

Sigh. Maybe it’s the influx of Easter candy I’ve been munching on for days that has me feeling bloated and blue.

Today Danny and I SERIOUSLY played a game where we took turns closing our eyes while the we picked outย  jelly beans to feed each other while guessing the flavor…you’d be surprised how difficult it is to guess simple flavors like cherry without seeing or knowing what you’re about to consume. ๐Ÿ˜‰

too hot to trot..even with your accidental mullet that i need to cut off.

I KNOW everyone has had times where they don’t feel that their body, brains, looks, what-have you are up to par. The question is, what are some great ways to combat this?


21 Responses to “falling off the wagon”

  1. fashionfitnessfoodie May 11, 2011 at 8:47 pm #

    I go through this ALL the time. Once you look in the mirror and see that puffiness you just want to change. When I work out i WANT to eat healthy, when I don’t workout I eat ice cream and french fries. Workout first thing in the morning! Nothing about that bathing suit picture makes you look “puffy”

    • cupcake dynamite May 11, 2011 at 8:56 pm #

      Ah I feel better knowing I’m not alone! I really need to stop picking myself apart- I really wish there were no mirrors in the gym! I am always in the mood to work out- it’s the ice cream and fries that get me too. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. Emily @ Perfection Isn't Happy May 11, 2011 at 11:44 pm #

    I’ve been in the same kind of “body image funk” this week, as well. I try to remind myself that it’s all in my head, and I look the same as I did last week. I also try to avoid mirrors as much as possible :), so I don’t drive myself crazy!

    • cupcake dynamite May 12, 2011 at 8:04 am #

      YES. I like the “look the same as I did last week” because it’s so true!

  3. Hollie @ Lolzthatswim(andRun) May 12, 2011 at 8:19 am #

    I have actually been having the same body talk this week too. Holy Moly. I normally tell myself that no one can notice anything and it’s all in mind. It’s been a struggle though really.

    • cupcake dynamite May 12, 2011 at 8:41 am #

      ๐Ÿ˜ฆ It’s not fun but it feels better to know you aren’t alone! So true though- it’s definitely just in our minds! I wonder if it has to do with the weather warming up/wearing less clothes etc. Meh. Who knows!

  4. Brandi May 12, 2011 at 9:53 am #

    Just saw your comment on my blog! So happy to have found another VB Blogger! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Don’t worry about feeling a little down. It will pass and you look awesome. When I feel that way I do something I know is going to make me feel good! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • cupcake dynamite May 12, 2011 at 1:22 pm #

      YEAH! I love this beach. Thanks!! I think your right…maybe getting my nails done or hair trimmed will take my mind off of it- I need to do that this weekend.

  5. Amy @ FitMommas May 12, 2011 at 12:26 pm #

    I came out of this rut just last week! I think it’s something all women – fit or not – struggle with.
    I’ve only recently started following your blog, so I don’t know if you’ve read Portia de Rossi’s “Unbearable Lightness.” It’s amazing. Reading her book really put my own body image issues into perspective. And HUGS to you today!

    • cupcake dynamite May 12, 2011 at 1:23 pm #

      I will have to check that book out, thanks so much!! And you’re too sweet. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Sarah Soon-To-Be May 12, 2011 at 12:50 pm #

    I’ve been putting off bikini shopping (hello Vegas next weekend) until my “funk” passes as well. No point turning the knife when you know you’re already in a bad place!

    • cupcake dynamite May 12, 2011 at 1:24 pm #

      SO JEALOUS- can courtney and i come? seeee you there for lots of drinks and pool action. so true- like turning the knife yesterday when i wore a tight tank& tight shorts to the gym while already feeling bloated. bad move.

  7. thegrassskirt May 12, 2011 at 1:56 pm #

    First of all, you are beautiful. Secondly, I feel your pain. It is hard not to beat ourselves up, but what helps me is staying on track with treating my body right. Eating junk and being lazy will only make you feel worse. And spend time with good friends who love you for you even when you’re at your worst. Girlfriends rock.

    • cupcake dynamite May 13, 2011 at 12:20 am #

      Gahhh you’re so right…I think a week of extra candy+a relapse into the world of diet soda is making me feel blahhhh!

  8. Jenny May 12, 2011 at 3:19 pm #

    It’s funny how the mind plays tricks on you. I know I’m not fat by any means but there are times when I just feel uncomfortable in my body. When I look at myself in the mirror I think I look like any average girl but in a picture I can definitely see that I’m a little thin. It’s all perspective. You just gotta ease up on yourself, you’re gorgeous ๐Ÿ˜€

    • cupcake dynamite May 13, 2011 at 12:15 am #

      Gahhh you are so right. I need to start being my own buddy- not bully! Something I definitely struggle with. I do the same thing. Thanks ๐Ÿ˜€

  9. Alyssa May 12, 2011 at 3:19 pm #

    babydoooolll, you KNOW you can come complain to me. I have these days all the time. you need to remember that only you are so critical of your own body. love yaself. and remember how HARD you work! you’re a champ. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • cupcake dynamite May 13, 2011 at 12:16 am #

      YOU are. And I will. And you’re right. ๐Ÿ™‚ girly wine night?

  10. Lauren May 12, 2011 at 10:56 pm #

    Lady, you are way too hard on yourself! You look fabulous and did you or did you not rock an 8 mile run not too long ago? That deserves some jelly bean eating if you ask me ๐Ÿ™‚ we all have these kinds of weeks, don’t sweat it.

    • cupcake dynamite May 13, 2011 at 12:13 am #

      Lauren. You rock. ๐Ÿ™‚ you have no idea how much that means to me! Thanks girl!

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